I've just finished part one of my session with Goddess. I'll go into details about it later but first I must complete a task that has been set for me by her while i wait for part 2 to begin.
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So I've already spoken in detail about how my life is now... but how do i imagine it being in future if i do indeed hand my life over to her?
As I've mentioned earlier, I'm doing extra study which upon completion will enable me to get a pretty decent job. Nothing spectacular but definitely quite good and well paid. Before then I need to work hard and study hard. Goddess knows that my studies are important for our future together so she would be able to motivate me to study. She can remove all unnecessary distractions and alter my life in a way that it becomes quite streamlined. I study, work and serve her. They are my primary goals. This would be fantastic because pleasing her and serving her gives me such intense pleasure. By streamlining my life in such a way i can get maximum opportunities to serve her, good career results and have fulfillment in my life.
Once my studies are complete and I have the better job I can really start to pamper her in the way she deserves. I will receive pleasure by giving her what she wants... I'll work hard and save and please her.
One problem I've had in the past is my choice of girlfriends hasn't been so good. I get drawn to manipulative, dominant woman (not surprising, is it??) My relationships then end badly. My current girlfriend isn't this way so much but she still has elements of this... She is kinder and more considerate though... but for this reason i don't seem to be sexually attracted to her as much.
One thing that Goddess has helped me realise today is that the perfect answer is to become her devotee. She is different to having a manipulative, dominant girlfriend. Such girlfriends are unaware of what they do or, even worse, well aware of it and do it ruthlessly and hurtfully. However, Goddess Lilyan isn't like this, she is aware of her strengths and gives me what i need... her dominance and power... but with care and love. She can care for me, be a part of my life and let me serve her. Rather than just taking advantage of me and my weaknesses, she understands that i need what she has. It makes me feel complete and satisfied. She knows it's what i need and gives it to me without hurting or attacking my weakness.
Most girls would see the weakness and attack it, control it and break down the rest of who i am... until there's nothing left. Goddess sees my submissive side as both a strength and weakness in me, something to be nurtured and used to make me happy and, of course, make her happy too. I feel this is a very important point and one i've only just discovered now and i really appreciate Goddess helping me realise this. It's the perfect relationship for me. My life with Goddess Lilyan will have meaning, focus and happiness. I can see her weekly for years to come. We can grow up together, share our experiences and be there for each other.
This may sound cheesy to some of you, or that i'm seeing this as a true boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. That's not the case. Yes it's not a traditional relationship. For starters, I'd devote myself solely to her while she caters to her stable of devotees. However, this point doesn't matter to me. Lilyan will be my goddess. A goddess has many worshippers. If you look at religion, particularly in the case of born-again followers of religions, people discover religion as a way to give their life meaning and focus. Giving my life to Goddess has many similarities to this. The one major difference being that it serves a sexual need i have as well. She can give my life meaning and protect me from girls who wouldn't treat me the right way too.
I imagine living in an apartment in future. Not a disgusting rundown apartment but also nothing too expensive. Something simple, compact and economical. I'll work hard and also work on the blog too. She will continue to give my life meaning and motivate me. She can make me a better, fulfilled, happy person. It will be absolutely lovely.
Yesterday I mentioned how I would make a post in between sessions. I expected this post to be full of horny ramblings and desperation but it is not the case. Yes I'm horny and hard right now but the feeling is different... it feels like i'm in love. That I've found someone for my future... When i looked into her beautiful blue eyes i was overcome with love. Is it love in a traditional sense? Is there even such a thing as "traditional" love? I don't know and i don't feel that it's important... Love can't really be defined and it comes in many forms. I love Goddess Lilyan. I have strong feelings for her now... I want to serve her and satisfy her. I love her... and i feel like she cares about me too. This all just feels so so right. I'm so lucky to have found her.
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