Pre-session #3 & study challenge game

Tomorrow will be session #3... stating the obvious, I'm very excited!

Perhaps I shouldn't be feeling so positive about it as I was supposed to resist having the session but my mind is filled with nothing but lust and excitement. How could i feel anything but this way? My whole body and mind craves to be with her... i need another fix of my drug!

For session #2 there was a challenge where I had to resist paying more money than I intended to. I was convincingly defeated. For our next session there will be a new challenge... one i must win!

Tomorrow's session will be split into 2 parts. The first part will occur before she starts her shift in freechat. After this first part I will be given 2 tasks. One will be a blog task and the other will be a study task for my degree. The study task would usually take about 2-3 hours if I were to do it without any distractions and a blog post can take up to an hour. I must complete these tasks during Goddess' shift. I must always be in her freechat room and during this time always welcoming her back and paying her compliments. I must also reply to her whenever she addresses me and answering any questions she asks me... all while studying and blogging. If i have successfully completed my tasks by the time she finishes her shift (which i believe is 5 hours long) then part 2 of our session will commence after her shift. However, if i've failed to finish then i'll have to wait until the following day for part 2 AND pay an additional fee as penalty for lateness.

I don't mean to sound cocky but I'm quietly confident of winning this challenge. Yes it will be tough but i'm pretty good at studying and blogging and if i'm determined i can study really hard and quickly... especially if she gets many private sessions then I will have enough time to complete all tasks!

But i need to be careful... Goddess is good at teasing and driving me crazy... I can also imagine her asking me questions about her outfit or distracting me in other ways as well... but i'm up for the challenge! Tomorrow I will show her and my followers on here that I'm no pushover... i can win some of these challenges.

The seeds have been planted...

I wasn't able to make a post yesterday and I wasn't able to come online until minutes before Goddess signed out of her freechat room. This is because of my girlfriend having time off work and being home. I live in a small apartment so when we are home together i don't have any privacy so i can't do any blogging or chatting and admiring of Goddess Lilyan.

A few weeks ago i would have been happy with having time together with my girlfriend. We don't have the most exciting of relationships but we can enjoy each other's company. However over the last 2 days I've been left feeling frustrated... She has been preventing me from seeing my beautiful Goddess. I've had moments when I've been imagining what Goddess is wearing, what she is doing... what sexy things should could be doing or saying... but i couldn't know because of my girlfriend.

Goddess told me during my last session that the only thing between her and me was my girlfriend... she is right. Or has she just planted a seed in me so i feel this way? I really can't tell. But the end result is undeniable... Goddess has changed my relationship with my girlfriend... a girl i still feel i love... in a different way but still love all the same. It really is happening... my life is changing. I can feel it. I should be worried but i actually feel really excited about this. It's what I've craved... to be set down the path of servitude, of moneyslavery, to be controlled by the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

Yesterday I had a nice day out with my girlfriend... going shopping and helping her family. Had a walk in a park for a bit too... that's supposed to be good right? But today I logged on to MFC and saw Goddess for just 2 minutes and it was 100 times better than all of yesterday. Those 2 minutes. She even smiled at me and blew me a kiss. I was in heaven.

I'm so lucky to be able to get mindfucked like this. I wouldn't change a thing.

How my life will be with Lilyan

I've just finished part one of my session with Goddess. I'll go into details about it later but first I must complete a task that has been set for me by her while i wait for part 2 to begin.

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So I've already spoken in detail about how my life is now... but how do i imagine it being in future if i do indeed hand my life over to her?

As I've mentioned earlier, I'm doing extra study which upon completion will enable me to get a pretty decent job. Nothing spectacular but definitely quite good and well paid. Before then I need to work hard and study hard. Goddess knows that my studies are important for our future together so she would be able to motivate me to study. She can remove all unnecessary distractions and alter my life in a way that it becomes quite streamlined. I study, work and serve her. They are my primary goals. This would be fantastic because pleasing her and serving her gives me such intense pleasure. By streamlining my life in such a way i can get maximum opportunities to serve her, good career results and have fulfillment in my life.

Once my studies are complete and I have the better job I can really start to pamper her in the way she deserves. I will receive pleasure by giving her what she wants... I'll work hard and save and please her.

One problem I've had in the past is my choice of girlfriends hasn't been so good. I get drawn to manipulative, dominant woman (not surprising, is it??) My relationships then end badly. My current girlfriend isn't this way so much but she still has elements of this... She is kinder and more considerate though... but for this reason i don't seem to be sexually attracted to her as much.

One thing that Goddess has helped me realise today is that the perfect answer is to become her devotee. She is different to having a manipulative, dominant girlfriend. Such girlfriends are unaware of what they do or, even worse, well aware of it and do it ruthlessly and hurtfully. However, Goddess Lilyan isn't like this, she is aware of her strengths and gives me what i need... her dominance and power... but with care and love. She can care for me, be a part of my life and let me serve her. Rather than just taking advantage of me and my weaknesses, she understands that i need what she has. It makes me feel complete and satisfied. She knows it's what i need and gives it to me without hurting or attacking my weakness.

Most girls would see the weakness and attack it, control it and break down the rest of who i am... until there's nothing left. Goddess sees my submissive side as both a strength and weakness in me, something to be nurtured and used to make me happy and, of course, make her happy too. I feel this is a very important point and one i've only just discovered now and i really appreciate Goddess helping me realise this. It's the perfect relationship for me. My life with Goddess Lilyan will have meaning, focus and happiness. I can see her weekly for years to come. We can grow up together, share our experiences and be there for each other.

This may sound cheesy to some of you, or that i'm seeing this as a true boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. That's not the case. Yes it's not a traditional relationship. For starters, I'd devote myself solely to her while she caters to her stable of devotees. However, this point doesn't matter to me. Lilyan will be my goddess. A goddess has many worshippers. If you look at religion, particularly in the case of born-again followers of religions, people discover religion as a way to give their life meaning and focus. Giving my life to Goddess has many similarities to this. The one major difference being that it serves a sexual need i have as well. She can give my life meaning and protect me from girls who wouldn't treat me the right way too.

I imagine living in an apartment in future. Not a disgusting rundown apartment but also nothing too expensive. Something simple, compact and economical. I'll work hard and also work on the blog too. She will continue to give my life meaning and motivate me. She can make me a better, fulfilled, happy person. It will be absolutely lovely.

Yesterday I mentioned how I would make a post in between sessions. I expected this post to be full of horny ramblings and desperation but it is not the case. Yes I'm horny and hard right now but the feeling is different... it feels like i'm in love. That I've found someone for my future... When i looked into her beautiful blue eyes i was overcome with love. Is it love in a traditional sense? Is there even such a thing as "traditional" love? I don't know and i don't feel that it's important... Love can't really be defined and it comes in many forms. I love Goddess Lilyan. I have strong feelings for her now... I want to serve her and satisfy her. I love her... and i feel like she cares about me too. This all just feels so so right. I'm so lucky to have found her.

Why Goddess Lilyan?

Here are 10 reasons why Goddess Lilyan has had such a profound impact on me in the space of a week:


1.  Her legs

Let's get the most obvious one out of the way first.  I'm definitely a "leg guy" and Goddess Lilyan has the most perfect legs i've ever seen.  I can say with all honesty that i doubt i'll ever see anything as perfect.  Her thighs are the part i get particularly drawn to.  However, much like Lilyan's other features, there's so much more to it rather than just her legs being sexy...  Having the assets is only part of it... it's using them that is the most important part.  She is able to strike the sexiest poses that highlights their perfection.


2.  Her voice

Goddess has a very sexy voice.  Yes she has an accent (a very sexy one too) but there's so much more to it than that.  Many visitors to her room want to know where she is from but she won't answer... I really like that.  Her nationality doesn't make her who she is nor is it what makes her voice so seductive and powerful... although it may help!  It's the tone of her voice... how she varies it weather she is talking down to subs, berating disrespectful users or seducing weak minded people like myself.  I love how she says my name "Dave"  it gives me chills of pleasure every time.


3.  Her hands

Goddess has beautiful hands and nails.  She also wears very nice rings to highlight their beauty.  The best part of her hands, however, is how she runs them over her legs and hair and other parts of her body.  then when she wears gloves it's taken to a whole new level.  I feel that her hands are very expressive...  she uses them to focus her devotees to parts of her body she wishes to be focused on.  So in a way they are an extension of her mind.  which brings me to...


4.  Her mind

This is probably the most powerful aspect of Goddess Lilyan.  She is obviously very intelligent and understands how the mind of her devotees work and how to get inside it.  You can also tell by the way she speaks and her choice of words... she's very well spoken and this is extra impressive if English is in fact her second language (which it may not be i'm not sure)  I feel like there's so much that can be said about the power of her mind but I'm only starting to understand its power.  After a week, however, there's no doubting its power and it's something I'm very very attracted to thus far.


5.  Her wit

Goddess Lilyan has to deal with all sorts of annoying, freeloading visitors to her free chat rooms.  This could potentially be irritating for her and for other members in her room but Goddess is able to make a positive out of this by putting them in her place with her dry wit which is very entertaining :-)  I love hearing her "i'm from your computer" response to "where are you from?" She's also witty with her devotees too.  This is once again an extension of her mind.


6.  Her smirk

Goddess' use of wit is often coupled with her sexy smirk.  Even sexier is when she is chatting with a devotee who she knows she has wrapped around her finger.  She knows they are hers and she can do what she likes with them...  This appears to amuse her greatly which is what results in the smirk.  I've been the recipient of such smirks a couple of times and hope to receive many more in future.


7.  Her eyes

Goddess has the most beautiful blue eyes.  They are warm and deep but also piercing and powerful.  She really knows how to use them too.  In my first session she zoomed in to them as she really started to mindfuck me.  Her eyes are also very expressive... they often light up when she smirks and when she gives a sexy warmer smile too.


8.  Her style

So far every outfit I've seen Goddess in has been stunning.  Her choice of stockings/pantyhose, lingerie, dresses and skirts have all been really sexy.  But it's not only her clothes, it's her accessories as well... her makeup and jewelry.  She has really good taste and pride in her appearance.  She also seems to really look after her body and health too.  She aims to be the best of herself and demands the best from her slaves as well.  It's something i really admire about her.


9.  Her care

Providing you show your respect to her, Goddess will care for you and your needs.  It must be hard having several rooms online simultaneously and answering several questions from different people at the same time, many of which may have no interest in showing their appreciation, and maintain a caring attitude.  Of course she is a dominant woman and guys should rightfully serve her rather than she serve them and this is what happens.  However, there is an element of care a mistress can have for a slave... providing the slave serves her well.  Goddess Lilyan appears to have this a lot.  When I'm in her room she cares for my thoughts, responds to my comments and has let me start this blog for her.  When she has a private show she tells everyone and even sometimes says how long she will be gone for.  She doesn't have to do any of these things but she does and it's very generous of her.  I feel that she has given me much more than I have to her.  It's something i really really appreciate and greatly increases my fondness for her.  If she is doing this out of true generosity or as a tactic to increase the addiction a new slave has for her i'm not sure... but both possible reasons are something i'd be happy with.


10.  Her lips/hair/feet

I wanted to only write 10 things but i have three more to write about so will mention each briefly here.  There are times when Goddess licks her lips and that drives me crazy.  Also when she applies lipstick it gets me really really weak.  Hair and feet are 2 things i've never really had a fetish for before but Goddess' are undeniably stunning.  As she teases and seduces her devotees with her hair and feet i can feel myself getting some new fetishes.  Something that is quite exciting to say the least.