For those of you who have read my blog from the start, you will see that financial domination and moneyslavery have been something i'm interested in but not necessarily my main fetish. I was seeking Mistress Lilyan to mindfuck me and take over my life... which she is doing with ease thus far! However, one thing i didn't anticipate was such a strong urge to hand over lots of money to her.
Goddess and I haven't discussed any of this explicitly so far but I have such a powerful urge to tell her every one of my financial details... my expenses, my income and any avenues to future income. Can I access any stocks? Can I open a new credit card? Can i get a loan from a bank? Or my father or even my girlfriend?
We haven't discussed any of this and she hasn't even suggested any of it but here I am wanting to tell her all these things... without her even asking me to! Has she been subconsciously programming me to think this way? Or maybe it's just deeply ingrained into all submissive males to want to financially serve a beautiful dominatrix? I can't tell if these thoughts have been implanted into my head or if they have been lying dormant and Mistress Lilyan has activated them. I used to think I knew a lot about what was happening... now I'm not sure. It's probably a really good thing that I'm keeping this blog because it's like a window into myself that i can read later... in case i get in so deep that I no longer know who I am or what I'm doing? However, what if this blog is actually getting me in deeper? Goddess did instruct me to create it afterall... She always encourages me to write more too... What's going on???
All I know right now is that i want to serve her on webcam and be her moneyslave... I want to give her all that i can. She is a goddess... a mistress... a princess... she must be worshiped. It's what i want more than anything. I want her to own not only my life, but also my wallet. She can milk me of all my funds. I crave this more than anything.
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