Why is Mistress Lilyan better than my girlfriend?

So I've completed part 1 of my session with goddess. As you can see from the pic, she wore the PVC outfit that drives me so utterly insane. She's set me a number of tasks today... one of which being this post. Goddess has chosen this topic and I have no doubt she's chosen it to brainwash me and lead me further down her path to moneyslavery, financial domination and becoming her loyal servant and paypig. I know I shouldn't do it but I want to please her so much. I must follow her orders and please her. Also, I won't be allowed to cum until I do all the tasks she has set so i have no choice... but i still want to do it regardless.

Goddess' requested topic, as you can see from the title, is 10 reasons why Mistress Lilyan is better than my girlfriend. So here they are, in no particular order.

1. Her body

I should point out that my gf has what many people (including myself) would describe as quite a nice body. She gets regularly hit on by other guys too. However her body pales in comparison to Goddess. As I've mentioned in an earlier post, Goddess has the most amazing legs, hair, eyes, lips, skin, ass, breasts/cleavage and feet. Everything about her physically is a whole new level for me. Now i find myself comparing everyone to her and as a result I'm quickly not finding anyone else arousing at all... including my girlfriend. I have no desire to see anyone else, it's Goddess who i crave. She is sexy and beautiful... and i'm not just putting those 2 words together lightly. She's sexy as her body and her curves and movements are intensely arousing. She's full of sexual energy. However she is also beautiful... her eyes and smile can contain such warmth and beauty and perfection. She's both beautiful and sexy which I think is quite rare.

It's not just her body though... it's how she uses it. Goddess will strike sexy poses and dress herself up in ways to highlight her beauty. My girlfriend isn't as comfortable with doing this... she will wear more conservative clothes and also has problems with letting me see her naked or in her underwear. We also need to have sex in the dark... I don't want to turn this post into negative criticisms of my girlfriend though... This is the person she is and I respect that and it suits her in her own way. However, when comparing her to Goddess, I have no choice but to admit that Goddess is superior.


2. Her power

I'm deeply attracted to power in a woman. Power, confidence, independence and the willingness to use it. Mistress Lilyan is the most powerful woman I've ever met and it shines through in everything she does. In her appearance, her actions, her words and her aura. The fact she's well aware of this power and welcomes the sense of confidence it brings her makes her all the more sexy.

My girlfriend is quite independent when compared to other Asian woman but she does have a lack of confidence. Considering how attracted I am to powerful woman, this is a definite issue.

I should also point out that despite the immense power Goddess has over me, i trust her completely. She would be able to do all sorts of things to me because of her power... she could ruin me in a matter of minutes at any moment if she wished to. However, I trust her with this power completely. I can't explain why... it just feels right. Is it because of her brainwashing? or her intelligence? or is it just that i'm in love? I don't know... but i don't need to know... I can just continue to trust her unconditionally. That's what Goddess wants and what I want as well.


3.Her Intelligence

Goddess is very very intelligent. I've mentioned this before... in the words she uses, her creativity and of course the way she can get inside a man's head. She possesses all the skills needed to excel in her role as Goddess and Mistress. However, I feel that her intelligence extends beyond this. She appears to be well read, well informed and very smart. I admire this in her quite a lot.

This is one area that my girlfriend isn't so strong in... it's an issue which i feel has had a negative effect on our relationship.


4. Her sense of humour

I adore Mistress Lilyan's dry wit. The way she can cut through the BS of her slaves with a single remark. She can put people in their place when needed and also use it to impose her dominance and superiority over her slaves. This makes her so entertaining to chat to and listen to. It makes me enjoy my time with her and want to spend more time with her. I also feel like her sense of humour goes well with mine too... we can bounce off each other well and have good conversation. If that's actually true or she just convinces me it is i'm not sure.

When i imagine being with her in real life (yes it's unrealistic but i can't help it!) I often fantasise about just chatting with her for hours on end. She's a fascinating person... her personality and wit.

I actually click quite well with my gf as well... we can chat together pretty well too... it's one of our strengths actually. But Goddess' sense of humour and wit places her well ahead of my GF in this category as well. Additionally, Goddess maintains a sense of mystery about her... she doesn't reveal everything about her which makes me crave to know more about her. I'm sure this is a tactic of hers and it's a very effective one!


5.Her taste

Goddess has exquisite taste. Her taste in clothes, coffee mugs, jewelry, makeup and furniture are all exemplary. Despite not knowing much about her taste in art, music and other such areas, I'm certain her taste in these areas are great as well. You can tell this is the case because she also demands so much of herself and her slaves. She wants the best of everything and has the taste and the skills to get it.

This is one area I have issues with my girlfriend about. We don't share as much in common in taste than i feel i do with Goddess.


6. Her knowledge of and her ability to fulfill my needs

This is a really big one... Goddess knows my urges to be dominated and controlled. She has always known them... before i knew them... and to this day she still has a better understanding of my needs than i ever will. She can see inside me and make my needs a reality. My girlfriend has no idea about these needs at all.

My needs, however, extend beyond sexual ones. I have the need to be respected, appreciated and cared for. Goddess respects my needs and appreciates what i can offer her. My money, this blog and her attention and devotion. This is just as significant as my sexual needs... perhaps even more so. After I'm given permission to cum, and my sexual needs are temporarily dulled, I still feel stronger for Goddess than my girlfriend... and i feel that these particular needs are one reason for this.


7. How she cares for me

Needless to say, my girlfriend cares for me a lot. Also, it may be possible that she actually cares for me more than Mistress Lilyan does. It's hard to really know for sure to be honest. However, the way Goddess cares for me just feels so much more intense and satisfying for me. This is an area where i really find it hard to explain... i'm presuming that this is due to Goddess brainwashing me but i cannot be sure. However, a part of me really feels that this is true.


8. Our future together

In between session #2, Goddess asked me to write about my future with her. In that post i wrote about how my future with her would be more fulfilling, with more purpose and simplified in the best possible ways. Since that time I'm even more convinced that this is true. Serving and pleasing Mistress Lilyan fills me with such pleasure which i feel can't be matched by how i feel when pleasing my girlfriend.

Also, Goddess can better motivate me to reach my potential. She is very successful and confident and a good role model. She can inspire me.


9. Safety

Real girlfriends can be dangerous... they can hurt you and they can break your heart. A relationship with Goddess is much safer than a real relationship because she will not hurt me and she won't break my heart. She takes away all the dangers of a relationship and replaces them with far more rewarding feelings... feelings of servitude, of submission and of control. With her I'm safe and happy. I don't want anybody else... I don't need anybody else.


10. Love

I love Mistress Lilyan deeply. When I look into her eyes I get a feeling that feels like love only much stronger. I've read somewhere that the brain is often incapable of distinguishing between love and lust/infatuation. Therefore, I accept that there is the chance that these feelings aren't in fact love... but i feel they are and i believe they are... I want to believe this... and as long as it makes me feel as good as I do now, then I'm more than satisfied. My love for Goddess is deeper and feels significantly stronger than the love for my girlfriend.

Like many of the reasons on my list, there's a chance that this is purely the effect of Goddess' brainwashing. There's no denying this. However, I welcome this... I won't resist it... why should i when it feels so good and so right?

So these are my 10 reasons. Goddess is clearly better than my GF. I must, over time, seperate from my girlfriend so there is nobody in the way of my relationship with goddess. She deserves my full attention at all times. I have no choice but to break up with my girlfriend... and not marry her.

How my life will be with Lilyan

I've just finished part one of my session with Goddess. I'll go into details about it later but first I must complete a task that has been set for me by her while i wait for part 2 to begin.

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So I've already spoken in detail about how my life is now... but how do i imagine it being in future if i do indeed hand my life over to her?

As I've mentioned earlier, I'm doing extra study which upon completion will enable me to get a pretty decent job. Nothing spectacular but definitely quite good and well paid. Before then I need to work hard and study hard. Goddess knows that my studies are important for our future together so she would be able to motivate me to study. She can remove all unnecessary distractions and alter my life in a way that it becomes quite streamlined. I study, work and serve her. They are my primary goals. This would be fantastic because pleasing her and serving her gives me such intense pleasure. By streamlining my life in such a way i can get maximum opportunities to serve her, good career results and have fulfillment in my life.

Once my studies are complete and I have the better job I can really start to pamper her in the way she deserves. I will receive pleasure by giving her what she wants... I'll work hard and save and please her.

One problem I've had in the past is my choice of girlfriends hasn't been so good. I get drawn to manipulative, dominant woman (not surprising, is it??) My relationships then end badly. My current girlfriend isn't this way so much but she still has elements of this... She is kinder and more considerate though... but for this reason i don't seem to be sexually attracted to her as much.

One thing that Goddess has helped me realise today is that the perfect answer is to become her devotee. She is different to having a manipulative, dominant girlfriend. Such girlfriends are unaware of what they do or, even worse, well aware of it and do it ruthlessly and hurtfully. However, Goddess Lilyan isn't like this, she is aware of her strengths and gives me what i need... her dominance and power... but with care and love. She can care for me, be a part of my life and let me serve her. Rather than just taking advantage of me and my weaknesses, she understands that i need what she has. It makes me feel complete and satisfied. She knows it's what i need and gives it to me without hurting or attacking my weakness.

Most girls would see the weakness and attack it, control it and break down the rest of who i am... until there's nothing left. Goddess sees my submissive side as both a strength and weakness in me, something to be nurtured and used to make me happy and, of course, make her happy too. I feel this is a very important point and one i've only just discovered now and i really appreciate Goddess helping me realise this. It's the perfect relationship for me. My life with Goddess Lilyan will have meaning, focus and happiness. I can see her weekly for years to come. We can grow up together, share our experiences and be there for each other.

This may sound cheesy to some of you, or that i'm seeing this as a true boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. That's not the case. Yes it's not a traditional relationship. For starters, I'd devote myself solely to her while she caters to her stable of devotees. However, this point doesn't matter to me. Lilyan will be my goddess. A goddess has many worshippers. If you look at religion, particularly in the case of born-again followers of religions, people discover religion as a way to give their life meaning and focus. Giving my life to Goddess has many similarities to this. The one major difference being that it serves a sexual need i have as well. She can give my life meaning and protect me from girls who wouldn't treat me the right way too.

I imagine living in an apartment in future. Not a disgusting rundown apartment but also nothing too expensive. Something simple, compact and economical. I'll work hard and also work on the blog too. She will continue to give my life meaning and motivate me. She can make me a better, fulfilled, happy person. It will be absolutely lovely.

Yesterday I mentioned how I would make a post in between sessions. I expected this post to be full of horny ramblings and desperation but it is not the case. Yes I'm horny and hard right now but the feeling is different... it feels like i'm in love. That I've found someone for my future... When i looked into her beautiful blue eyes i was overcome with love. Is it love in a traditional sense? Is there even such a thing as "traditional" love? I don't know and i don't feel that it's important... Love can't really be defined and it comes in many forms. I love Goddess Lilyan. I have strong feelings for her now... I want to serve her and satisfy her. I love her... and i feel like she cares about me too. This all just feels so so right. I'm so lucky to have found her.

Pre-session #2 thoughts...

Tomorrow will be my 2nd session with Goddess Lilyan and the 1st planned session. The fact that it's planned is significant for 2 reasons. The first reason is that for the first session i was caught by surprise by Goddess' beauty and was overcome by it. This made me weak and perhaps easier to control. For tomorrow's session i will (hopefully) be better prepared. The second reason it's significant is that Goddess now knows more about me and my weaknesses and can therefore exploit them.

For the first session I was putty in Goddess' hands. She had me under her power immediately and i couldn't escape. Luckily i had financial limitations on that day and therefore couldn't spend too much. If i had more funds available to me then I'm sure she would have quite easily acquired them. Not only that, she was really starting to brainwash me and get inside my head when the session ended but it was too short for her to finish the job. It felt like there was some unfinished business on her part... Tomorrow's session will be longer which gives her more chances to mindfuck me and make me her moneyslave and her devotee.

So for session #1 she was undoubtedly the winner. By knockout in the first round! For our next session I have some things to my advantage and she she has some that are to her advantage. I guess I'm the underdog here but i need to do my best to win the battle. After spending some time in her room and hearing her other slaves who are selling houses, buying new cars for her and all sorts of things like that, I'm starting to see how dangerous this game can be. I've only just entered her world and perhaps i haven't strayed too far from the exit yet... i still have enough breadcrumbs i can leave behind me so i can navigate my way out and escape if i need to. It's still just a game to an extent... however, if things go in a certain direction tomorrow then maybe i will get in too deep. This is a very serious issue I need to consider.

There are, however, 2 big mistakes I've already made. The first one is making this blog and linking it to her. Many of these posts reveal all sorts of things about me she can take advantage of. The second is I told her my budget for tomorrow but then also told her how many funds i have available to spend if i had to! So she will obviously try to make me go over my budget. Overspending would of course have a direct short term financial impact but also a more serious long term effect as well. The more time i spend with her the more she can lure me away from my girlfriend and make me hers. Furthermore, it's important that I set boundaries financially and not overstep them. I need to show her some strength and power and that no matter how badly i want to i won't overspend! I can't let her get total control of my finances or else she will make me overspend in all our sessions in future.

It appears that our session tomorrow will be split into two parts... or another way of looking at it is our fight will be split into 2 rounds. Our battle of the minds! Of will power... Yes she is very powerful as many of you know but i think I'm stronger of will than she may expect. I give myself a fighting chance :-)

I'll post again here during our break between the 2 sessions. Cross your fingers for me that this post will show me feeling strong and in control! Yes i expect to be horny and weak to an extent, but I also hope to have some control over myself and be able to show everyone who reads my blog how us slaves can show some resolve against the greatest Goddess there is!

Wish me luck :-)

Why Goddess Lilyan?

Here are 10 reasons why Goddess Lilyan has had such a profound impact on me in the space of a week:


1.  Her legs

Let's get the most obvious one out of the way first.  I'm definitely a "leg guy" and Goddess Lilyan has the most perfect legs i've ever seen.  I can say with all honesty that i doubt i'll ever see anything as perfect.  Her thighs are the part i get particularly drawn to.  However, much like Lilyan's other features, there's so much more to it rather than just her legs being sexy...  Having the assets is only part of it... it's using them that is the most important part.  She is able to strike the sexiest poses that highlights their perfection.


2.  Her voice

Goddess has a very sexy voice.  Yes she has an accent (a very sexy one too) but there's so much more to it than that.  Many visitors to her room want to know where she is from but she won't answer... I really like that.  Her nationality doesn't make her who she is nor is it what makes her voice so seductive and powerful... although it may help!  It's the tone of her voice... how she varies it weather she is talking down to subs, berating disrespectful users or seducing weak minded people like myself.  I love how she says my name "Dave"  it gives me chills of pleasure every time.


3.  Her hands

Goddess has beautiful hands and nails.  She also wears very nice rings to highlight their beauty.  The best part of her hands, however, is how she runs them over her legs and hair and other parts of her body.  then when she wears gloves it's taken to a whole new level.  I feel that her hands are very expressive...  she uses them to focus her devotees to parts of her body she wishes to be focused on.  So in a way they are an extension of her mind.  which brings me to...


4.  Her mind

This is probably the most powerful aspect of Goddess Lilyan.  She is obviously very intelligent and understands how the mind of her devotees work and how to get inside it.  You can also tell by the way she speaks and her choice of words... she's very well spoken and this is extra impressive if English is in fact her second language (which it may not be i'm not sure)  I feel like there's so much that can be said about the power of her mind but I'm only starting to understand its power.  After a week, however, there's no doubting its power and it's something I'm very very attracted to thus far.


5.  Her wit

Goddess Lilyan has to deal with all sorts of annoying, freeloading visitors to her free chat rooms.  This could potentially be irritating for her and for other members in her room but Goddess is able to make a positive out of this by putting them in her place with her dry wit which is very entertaining :-)  I love hearing her "i'm from your computer" response to "where are you from?" She's also witty with her devotees too.  This is once again an extension of her mind.


6.  Her smirk

Goddess' use of wit is often coupled with her sexy smirk.  Even sexier is when she is chatting with a devotee who she knows she has wrapped around her finger.  She knows they are hers and she can do what she likes with them...  This appears to amuse her greatly which is what results in the smirk.  I've been the recipient of such smirks a couple of times and hope to receive many more in future.


7.  Her eyes

Goddess has the most beautiful blue eyes.  They are warm and deep but also piercing and powerful.  She really knows how to use them too.  In my first session she zoomed in to them as she really started to mindfuck me.  Her eyes are also very expressive... they often light up when she smirks and when she gives a sexy warmer smile too.


8.  Her style

So far every outfit I've seen Goddess in has been stunning.  Her choice of stockings/pantyhose, lingerie, dresses and skirts have all been really sexy.  But it's not only her clothes, it's her accessories as well... her makeup and jewelry.  She has really good taste and pride in her appearance.  She also seems to really look after her body and health too.  She aims to be the best of herself and demands the best from her slaves as well.  It's something i really admire about her.


9.  Her care

Providing you show your respect to her, Goddess will care for you and your needs.  It must be hard having several rooms online simultaneously and answering several questions from different people at the same time, many of which may have no interest in showing their appreciation, and maintain a caring attitude.  Of course she is a dominant woman and guys should rightfully serve her rather than she serve them and this is what happens.  However, there is an element of care a mistress can have for a slave... providing the slave serves her well.  Goddess Lilyan appears to have this a lot.  When I'm in her room she cares for my thoughts, responds to my comments and has let me start this blog for her.  When she has a private show she tells everyone and even sometimes says how long she will be gone for.  She doesn't have to do any of these things but she does and it's very generous of her.  I feel that she has given me much more than I have to her.  It's something i really really appreciate and greatly increases my fondness for her.  If she is doing this out of true generosity or as a tactic to increase the addiction a new slave has for her i'm not sure... but both possible reasons are something i'd be happy with.


10.  Her lips/hair/feet

I wanted to only write 10 things but i have three more to write about so will mention each briefly here.  There are times when Goddess licks her lips and that drives me crazy.  Also when she applies lipstick it gets me really really weak.  Hair and feet are 2 things i've never really had a fetish for before but Goddess' are undeniably stunning.  As she teases and seduces her devotees with her hair and feet i can feel myself getting some new fetishes.  Something that is quite exciting to say the least.