Pre-session #3 & study challenge game

Tomorrow will be session #3... stating the obvious, I'm very excited!

Perhaps I shouldn't be feeling so positive about it as I was supposed to resist having the session but my mind is filled with nothing but lust and excitement. How could i feel anything but this way? My whole body and mind craves to be with her... i need another fix of my drug!

For session #2 there was a challenge where I had to resist paying more money than I intended to. I was convincingly defeated. For our next session there will be a new challenge... one i must win!

Tomorrow's session will be split into 2 parts. The first part will occur before she starts her shift in freechat. After this first part I will be given 2 tasks. One will be a blog task and the other will be a study task for my degree. The study task would usually take about 2-3 hours if I were to do it without any distractions and a blog post can take up to an hour. I must complete these tasks during Goddess' shift. I must always be in her freechat room and during this time always welcoming her back and paying her compliments. I must also reply to her whenever she addresses me and answering any questions she asks me... all while studying and blogging. If i have successfully completed my tasks by the time she finishes her shift (which i believe is 5 hours long) then part 2 of our session will commence after her shift. However, if i've failed to finish then i'll have to wait until the following day for part 2 AND pay an additional fee as penalty for lateness.

I don't mean to sound cocky but I'm quietly confident of winning this challenge. Yes it will be tough but i'm pretty good at studying and blogging and if i'm determined i can study really hard and quickly... especially if she gets many private sessions then I will have enough time to complete all tasks!

But i need to be careful... Goddess is good at teasing and driving me crazy... I can also imagine her asking me questions about her outfit or distracting me in other ways as well... but i'm up for the challenge! Tomorrow I will show her and my followers on here that I'm no pushover... i can win some of these challenges.

My life with Mistress Lilyan so far

I wanted to say that this is my first post for a while but it's only been 3 days! But it feels like ages! We've had differing schedules recently so haven't caught each other online very often either. However, she feels just as present in my mind as ever.

I've been working hard to please her and applied for a small temp job during my holidays... in an effort to be able to tribute her in the way she deserves... Despite the work I do here on this blog i still owe her so much more. She's already started to change my life for the better so i need to repay her for that. However, I do this out of adoration and love more than anything else. Pleasing her pleases me immensely.

I feel that we are able to enter another phase soon... I'm not allowed to cum unless I'm in session with her and my last session was one week ago. This is a reasonably long time for me and my constant thoughts of her makes it much harder. However, it's my duty to myself and my future with Mistress Lilyan that i achieve good scores in my studies... so i need to stay focused on that. As my financial situation isn't so stable over the next couple of months, it would be quite irresponsible of me to pay for another session so soon... but i feel i need it really badly. I have the feeling that Mistress Lilyan knows this as well. It's part of her plan to use orgasm denial to lure me deeply into financial domination and slavery. To be her moneyslave. It seems some new battlegrounds are being drawn up now... I haven't won previously but I need to try and win this time. I must resist the urge to see her again so soon. But how can I resist her powers?

Despite this issue, I'm still overwhelmingly happy to have Mistress Lilyan in my life... I do say the phrase "in my life" however with each passing day it gets closer and closer to "control my life" That's what I'm simultaneously urging and resisting... to have Mistress Lilyan control my life.

Pre-session #2 thoughts...

Tomorrow will be my 2nd session with Goddess Lilyan and the 1st planned session. The fact that it's planned is significant for 2 reasons. The first reason is that for the first session i was caught by surprise by Goddess' beauty and was overcome by it. This made me weak and perhaps easier to control. For tomorrow's session i will (hopefully) be better prepared. The second reason it's significant is that Goddess now knows more about me and my weaknesses and can therefore exploit them.

For the first session I was putty in Goddess' hands. She had me under her power immediately and i couldn't escape. Luckily i had financial limitations on that day and therefore couldn't spend too much. If i had more funds available to me then I'm sure she would have quite easily acquired them. Not only that, she was really starting to brainwash me and get inside my head when the session ended but it was too short for her to finish the job. It felt like there was some unfinished business on her part... Tomorrow's session will be longer which gives her more chances to mindfuck me and make me her moneyslave and her devotee.

So for session #1 she was undoubtedly the winner. By knockout in the first round! For our next session I have some things to my advantage and she she has some that are to her advantage. I guess I'm the underdog here but i need to do my best to win the battle. After spending some time in her room and hearing her other slaves who are selling houses, buying new cars for her and all sorts of things like that, I'm starting to see how dangerous this game can be. I've only just entered her world and perhaps i haven't strayed too far from the exit yet... i still have enough breadcrumbs i can leave behind me so i can navigate my way out and escape if i need to. It's still just a game to an extent... however, if things go in a certain direction tomorrow then maybe i will get in too deep. This is a very serious issue I need to consider.

There are, however, 2 big mistakes I've already made. The first one is making this blog and linking it to her. Many of these posts reveal all sorts of things about me she can take advantage of. The second is I told her my budget for tomorrow but then also told her how many funds i have available to spend if i had to! So she will obviously try to make me go over my budget. Overspending would of course have a direct short term financial impact but also a more serious long term effect as well. The more time i spend with her the more she can lure me away from my girlfriend and make me hers. Furthermore, it's important that I set boundaries financially and not overstep them. I need to show her some strength and power and that no matter how badly i want to i won't overspend! I can't let her get total control of my finances or else she will make me overspend in all our sessions in future.

It appears that our session tomorrow will be split into two parts... or another way of looking at it is our fight will be split into 2 rounds. Our battle of the minds! Of will power... Yes she is very powerful as many of you know but i think I'm stronger of will than she may expect. I give myself a fighting chance :-)

I'll post again here during our break between the 2 sessions. Cross your fingers for me that this post will show me feeling strong and in control! Yes i expect to be horny and weak to an extent, but I also hope to have some control over myself and be able to show everyone who reads my blog how us slaves can show some resolve against the greatest Goddess there is!

Wish me luck :-)

Why Goddess Lilyan?

Here are 10 reasons why Goddess Lilyan has had such a profound impact on me in the space of a week:


1.  Her legs

Let's get the most obvious one out of the way first.  I'm definitely a "leg guy" and Goddess Lilyan has the most perfect legs i've ever seen.  I can say with all honesty that i doubt i'll ever see anything as perfect.  Her thighs are the part i get particularly drawn to.  However, much like Lilyan's other features, there's so much more to it rather than just her legs being sexy...  Having the assets is only part of it... it's using them that is the most important part.  She is able to strike the sexiest poses that highlights their perfection.


2.  Her voice

Goddess has a very sexy voice.  Yes she has an accent (a very sexy one too) but there's so much more to it than that.  Many visitors to her room want to know where she is from but she won't answer... I really like that.  Her nationality doesn't make her who she is nor is it what makes her voice so seductive and powerful... although it may help!  It's the tone of her voice... how she varies it weather she is talking down to subs, berating disrespectful users or seducing weak minded people like myself.  I love how she says my name "Dave"  it gives me chills of pleasure every time.


3.  Her hands

Goddess has beautiful hands and nails.  She also wears very nice rings to highlight their beauty.  The best part of her hands, however, is how she runs them over her legs and hair and other parts of her body.  then when she wears gloves it's taken to a whole new level.  I feel that her hands are very expressive...  she uses them to focus her devotees to parts of her body she wishes to be focused on.  So in a way they are an extension of her mind.  which brings me to...


4.  Her mind

This is probably the most powerful aspect of Goddess Lilyan.  She is obviously very intelligent and understands how the mind of her devotees work and how to get inside it.  You can also tell by the way she speaks and her choice of words... she's very well spoken and this is extra impressive if English is in fact her second language (which it may not be i'm not sure)  I feel like there's so much that can be said about the power of her mind but I'm only starting to understand its power.  After a week, however, there's no doubting its power and it's something I'm very very attracted to thus far.


5.  Her wit

Goddess Lilyan has to deal with all sorts of annoying, freeloading visitors to her free chat rooms.  This could potentially be irritating for her and for other members in her room but Goddess is able to make a positive out of this by putting them in her place with her dry wit which is very entertaining :-)  I love hearing her "i'm from your computer" response to "where are you from?" She's also witty with her devotees too.  This is once again an extension of her mind.


6.  Her smirk

Goddess' use of wit is often coupled with her sexy smirk.  Even sexier is when she is chatting with a devotee who she knows she has wrapped around her finger.  She knows they are hers and she can do what she likes with them...  This appears to amuse her greatly which is what results in the smirk.  I've been the recipient of such smirks a couple of times and hope to receive many more in future.


7.  Her eyes

Goddess has the most beautiful blue eyes.  They are warm and deep but also piercing and powerful.  She really knows how to use them too.  In my first session she zoomed in to them as she really started to mindfuck me.  Her eyes are also very expressive... they often light up when she smirks and when she gives a sexy warmer smile too.


8.  Her style

So far every outfit I've seen Goddess in has been stunning.  Her choice of stockings/pantyhose, lingerie, dresses and skirts have all been really sexy.  But it's not only her clothes, it's her accessories as well... her makeup and jewelry.  She has really good taste and pride in her appearance.  She also seems to really look after her body and health too.  She aims to be the best of herself and demands the best from her slaves as well.  It's something i really admire about her.


9.  Her care

Providing you show your respect to her, Goddess will care for you and your needs.  It must be hard having several rooms online simultaneously and answering several questions from different people at the same time, many of which may have no interest in showing their appreciation, and maintain a caring attitude.  Of course she is a dominant woman and guys should rightfully serve her rather than she serve them and this is what happens.  However, there is an element of care a mistress can have for a slave... providing the slave serves her well.  Goddess Lilyan appears to have this a lot.  When I'm in her room she cares for my thoughts, responds to my comments and has let me start this blog for her.  When she has a private show she tells everyone and even sometimes says how long she will be gone for.  She doesn't have to do any of these things but she does and it's very generous of her.  I feel that she has given me much more than I have to her.  It's something i really really appreciate and greatly increases my fondness for her.  If she is doing this out of true generosity or as a tactic to increase the addiction a new slave has for her i'm not sure... but both possible reasons are something i'd be happy with.


10.  Her lips/hair/feet

I wanted to only write 10 things but i have three more to write about so will mention each briefly here.  There are times when Goddess licks her lips and that drives me crazy.  Also when she applies lipstick it gets me really really weak.  Hair and feet are 2 things i've never really had a fetish for before but Goddess' are undeniably stunning.  As she teases and seduces her devotees with her hair and feet i can feel myself getting some new fetishes.  Something that is quite exciting to say the least.