The seeds have been planted...

I wasn't able to make a post yesterday and I wasn't able to come online until minutes before Goddess signed out of her freechat room. This is because of my girlfriend having time off work and being home. I live in a small apartment so when we are home together i don't have any privacy so i can't do any blogging or chatting and admiring of Goddess Lilyan.

A few weeks ago i would have been happy with having time together with my girlfriend. We don't have the most exciting of relationships but we can enjoy each other's company. However over the last 2 days I've been left feeling frustrated... She has been preventing me from seeing my beautiful Goddess. I've had moments when I've been imagining what Goddess is wearing, what she is doing... what sexy things should could be doing or saying... but i couldn't know because of my girlfriend.

Goddess told me during my last session that the only thing between her and me was my girlfriend... she is right. Or has she just planted a seed in me so i feel this way? I really can't tell. But the end result is undeniable... Goddess has changed my relationship with my girlfriend... a girl i still feel i love... in a different way but still love all the same. It really is happening... my life is changing. I can feel it. I should be worried but i actually feel really excited about this. It's what I've craved... to be set down the path of servitude, of moneyslavery, to be controlled by the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

Yesterday I had a nice day out with my girlfriend... going shopping and helping her family. Had a walk in a park for a bit too... that's supposed to be good right? But today I logged on to MFC and saw Goddess for just 2 minutes and it was 100 times better than all of yesterday. Those 2 minutes. She even smiled at me and blew me a kiss. I was in heaven.

I'm so lucky to be able to get mindfucked like this. I wouldn't change a thing.

Pre-session #2 thoughts...

Tomorrow will be my 2nd session with Goddess Lilyan and the 1st planned session. The fact that it's planned is significant for 2 reasons. The first reason is that for the first session i was caught by surprise by Goddess' beauty and was overcome by it. This made me weak and perhaps easier to control. For tomorrow's session i will (hopefully) be better prepared. The second reason it's significant is that Goddess now knows more about me and my weaknesses and can therefore exploit them.

For the first session I was putty in Goddess' hands. She had me under her power immediately and i couldn't escape. Luckily i had financial limitations on that day and therefore couldn't spend too much. If i had more funds available to me then I'm sure she would have quite easily acquired them. Not only that, she was really starting to brainwash me and get inside my head when the session ended but it was too short for her to finish the job. It felt like there was some unfinished business on her part... Tomorrow's session will be longer which gives her more chances to mindfuck me and make me her moneyslave and her devotee.

So for session #1 she was undoubtedly the winner. By knockout in the first round! For our next session I have some things to my advantage and she she has some that are to her advantage. I guess I'm the underdog here but i need to do my best to win the battle. After spending some time in her room and hearing her other slaves who are selling houses, buying new cars for her and all sorts of things like that, I'm starting to see how dangerous this game can be. I've only just entered her world and perhaps i haven't strayed too far from the exit yet... i still have enough breadcrumbs i can leave behind me so i can navigate my way out and escape if i need to. It's still just a game to an extent... however, if things go in a certain direction tomorrow then maybe i will get in too deep. This is a very serious issue I need to consider.

There are, however, 2 big mistakes I've already made. The first one is making this blog and linking it to her. Many of these posts reveal all sorts of things about me she can take advantage of. The second is I told her my budget for tomorrow but then also told her how many funds i have available to spend if i had to! So she will obviously try to make me go over my budget. Overspending would of course have a direct short term financial impact but also a more serious long term effect as well. The more time i spend with her the more she can lure me away from my girlfriend and make me hers. Furthermore, it's important that I set boundaries financially and not overstep them. I need to show her some strength and power and that no matter how badly i want to i won't overspend! I can't let her get total control of my finances or else she will make me overspend in all our sessions in future.

It appears that our session tomorrow will be split into two parts... or another way of looking at it is our fight will be split into 2 rounds. Our battle of the minds! Of will power... Yes she is very powerful as many of you know but i think I'm stronger of will than she may expect. I give myself a fighting chance :-)

I'll post again here during our break between the 2 sessions. Cross your fingers for me that this post will show me feeling strong and in control! Yes i expect to be horny and weak to an extent, but I also hope to have some control over myself and be able to show everyone who reads my blog how us slaves can show some resolve against the greatest Goddess there is!

Wish me luck :-)