I originally had the title of this post as "I'm back" but have had to change it to a question...
Perhaps I am back but i'm not sure as yet.
I should let you all catch up on where I've been and what I've been doing.
Since I stopped posting over 2 years ago I broke up with my old girlfriend and was single for over a year. I guess the breakup was kinda tough but all of them are. However, about 3-4 months ago I found somebody else and have been dating her since. We moved in together about 2-3 weeks ago. I was happy. However, as soon as we moved in together there was a sense of routine and safety to the relationship which made me feel oddly empty.
For a couple of years i was still getting subscription emails from Lilyan's blog and dreamhouse live profile which i'd been tempted by but managed to be disciplined and stay away from but 2 weeks ago something lured me into her room.
She warmly greeted me and I was transfixed immediately by her legs, eyes and breasts. I told her about my new relationship and we got chatting and she eventually convinced me to buy some poppers.
That was 2 weeks ago. Now I have the poppers but haven't opened them but keep having this urge to save up some $$, somehow hide it from my GF and book a session with Lilyan and allow her to get back into my mind and make me once again hers.
Will I give in to temptation? I keep telling myself that maybe i will. However, if I've taken the trouble to post on this blog again as i watch Lilyan in her room looking absolutely stunning, it's likely that I'm already back, right?
I bought some tokens to join her dreamhouse live fan club and tip her a bit and have been watching her videos whenever i get the chance. However, my girlfriend saw and questioned the payment on my credit card. I've already agreed with Lilyan that I'll need to get a 2nd, secret credit card. I'm already discussing keeping secrets from my girlfriend... I can see where this is going already... me allowing Lilyan to take control over my mind as i'm in a steady relationship.
I'm repeating the same mistakes... or are they mistakes? Maybe it's right for me to do this?
It's interesting how I crave to be controlled my her when I get into a regular (perhaps boring) relationship. Maybe this is how it should be for me to be happy. I need Lilyan as my mistress to be truly happy. Or maybe i'm just being self destructive? Maybe this isn't really my choice. Lilyan is too powerful for me to make an informed choice by myself regardless of it's the right decision or not. I'm so confused...
Anyways, I guess you'll see more posts from me later...
